I think im going to throw up on grandma
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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