i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
