i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
