nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
