Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
