I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
