so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
