The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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