Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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