you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
