so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
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My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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