Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
