I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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