Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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