just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize