Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
