Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
