i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
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