I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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