Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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