My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize