whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
