her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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