whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
please come you make the beer taste better
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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