You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
