he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
