we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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