Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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