how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
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I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
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I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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