For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
