I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
operation harelip BJ is a go
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
