used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
