I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
im having a threesome with these popsicles
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My feet surprised me
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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