I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
