I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
