And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
