After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
