Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
