The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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