i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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