im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
foreskin is a definite game changer
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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