i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize