sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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