also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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