How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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