It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
