No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
