I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
