and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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