Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
it's like iHOP with fire
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
