OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize
