The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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