We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
