I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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