thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
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as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
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My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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