I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Randomize