I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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