The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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