the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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