thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
